***DISCLAIMER***
  MEN WHO ARE SQUEAMISH OR NEVER EXPERIENCED WITH THEIR WIVES THE MIRACLE OF PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH HAD BEST NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!! 

You go to see your OB/GYN today but he is delivering a baby so the new resident he is training sees you and while she has those fingers shoved up your crotch to see if you are dilated, she pokes and pushes around in there a little too hard.  It hurts and you tell her. She announces that she was able to get barely the tip of her finger in your cervix.  So at least you are STARTING to dilate.  You get back to your office and go do your hourly pee thing only to discover that there is a big ole blood splotch there complete with "gooey extras"!!  You call and let them know.  They ask you if you are having contractions.  Well, no.  They ask if there is any cramping.  No.  What does it look like?  It looks like you are having your period complete with chunks.  They tell you that its NORMAL at this stage of the game and after a pelvic exam checking for dilation to have some bleeding.  With chunks?  My best guess is that she pushed out a bit of my mucous plug.  IN ANY EVENT.....  I am fine.  The bleeding stopped.  But I was a tad alarmed.  Called the hubby to tell him.  Freaked him out.  I didn't mean to.

Still, my biggest fear at this point is that I break water in the middle of the night and have to drive myself to the hospital.  That helps to keep me awake.  The soonest Tarik could get here on short notice would be about 48 hours since he would have to leave Amman at like 7 in the morning his time, then stay the night somewhere like Frankfurt or London, and then get home the day after that.

So, I actually updated my Mary Boleyn blog today, something I have not done in almost a year because I have been too busy living by myself for over a year now. Tarik was supposed to be home in the middle of October, but that was based on his original contract.  He signed a new one when he transferred from Kuwait to Jordan.  He will be home for the birth and then go back.  I said much of what I am saying below in that entry. 

So here's the lowdown on things.  Great first trimester, hardly got sick.  Got fired from my job three weeks after I told them I was pregnant.  Hmmm, funny, since the Texas Workforce Commission, on appeal, determined I was fired without cause, and shitty former employer mentioned when firing me that I was having "performance issues."  Strange that these "issue" were never mentioned in my excellent performance review just two weeks earlier.  Oh well, I hated it there anyway.  I found a better job working for a friend who is an attorney and the pay is much better and strangely enough, so is the environment.  Something I never thought I would think about a law firm.  Second trimester was great.  I felt great, took a two week trip to England and met up with Tarik over there.  Went to all the cool places.  The portrait on my Mary Boleyn blog is actually hanging on one side of the fireplace at Hever Castle, where Anne and Mary Boleyn grew up, so I actually saw this painting!  Came home, started Ren Fest rehearsals doing some directing and acting coaching.  Found out I will be directing the overall show next year *gulp!*  Third trimester starts out fine.  Then about 4 weeks ago I hit a wall and have decided that I DO NOT want to do this again!  Basically, everything was a piece of cake until about 4 weeks ago.  Read below to find out what's been going on!  If you have had a baby, I am sure you will FONDLY remember many of these things!

Just let me bitch and moan here because I AM 36 weeks pregnant damnit and have been ALONE this entire time doing everything BY MYSELF....  I cannot feel the tips of my fingers on my right hand.  In fact, almost my entire middle finger is numb, which makes it hard to type and to write.  Its basically pregnancy induced carpal tunnel.  Nice.  Ummm, what else....  OH!  Sore hips.  I can't sleep with the sore hips.  They wake me up at least once an hour and I have to turn over.  No easy feat if you have not experienced this.  And when I do turn over you can hear all the bones in my hops popping and cracking. So I tend to wake up around 3 for the last time and not get back to sleep.  Tried the pillows.  Eh....  So I spend my days in a sleep deprived haze.  I am cranky and tired.  I know, its God's way of prepping me for the post partum bliss of having an infant.  None of my shoes fit, except one pair, and they have these rubber soles on them.  The heel on one shoe split open from my weight (the hour and a freaking half I spent standing in line in the rain, with nowhere to sit, waiting to vote on election day because there was only ONE person working the polls).  So that makes me feel good about myself.  I have a sciatic nerve pull and it hurts in my rear end and makes it very difficult for me to walk, bend over or do anything.  I CHALLENGE ANY DUCK out there to out waddle me right now!  I used to walk very fast and people would always comment on it and tell me to slow down.  Now I would just like to be able to get from my bed to the toilet in under a minute.  And my mother in law left me with her cat and my sister in law's cat while they left to go to Jordan for six weeks.  Needless to say, its a handful.  I cry at the drop of a hat right now too.  I have very little ability to focus or concentrate at work and its mak....  Hey!  What's that over there?!  

OK, things are not TOTALLY horrible.  I have NO, I repeat NO stretch marks!!!  I have only gained 30 pounds.  I have not had anything unpleasant like bleeding or early contractions (save for Braxton Hicks which are normal) happen (well, the bleeding today and that lasted all of an hour).  My mom and sister came into town this past weekend and THEY put the baby's room together complete with painting it and all and let me rest!  And, I am having a boy.  I would be just as happy with a girl as well.  But it is definitely a boy.  I have pictures of his naughty bits!  I finally got a new car!  A Kia Sorento, Alpine Gray.  Its nice and comfy and a *gasp* MOMMY CAR!  I get the biggest kick out of seeing my best friend Nina squirm with squirminess anytime I get the preggo belly near her.  She sooooooooooooooo does not want children that she had her tubes tied earlier this year and she is not even 30 yet!

So there is where I stand. I cannot type anymore because my hand really hurts now.  I will most likely post again post partum and talk about all the fun gory stuff!!

Ciao!

Song virus du jour:  "Agnus Dei" ~ Samuel Barber
This is the "Adagio For Strings" in choral arrangement to a prayer.  Absolutely Heavenly!