Tuesday, Dec. 13, 2005 - 6:41 a.m.

It could be worse...

I don't want others thinking I am a Negative Nancy all the time, what with my disatisfaction with work and all. There are a myriad of things that are good, even great in my life, and, as I am wont to do every so often, I need to remind myself that things don't totally suck.

I have the most beautiful child ever put on this earth. And I am not just saying that because I am his mother and am obligated to do so. When we are out in public, or my mother in law has him at the store, total strangers constantly approach us to tell us what a beautiful boy he is. Even the nurse at my pediatrician's office commented that he should be in commercials or print ads. What can I say? I make pretty babies! Our financial situation is MUCH improved over two years ago when we had to ask our parents for money just to make our house payment. That doesn't mean that our situation is ideal. Far from it. It would be preferable for my husband to be able to be here at home with his wife and son, rather than 7,000 miles away. However, we have been able to save a hefty chunk of change in pure unadulterated cash, and another good chunk in his 401k. We knew going into this that it would be tough, but, you make sacrifices to ensure the well being of your family. And its not forever. I am lucky that when I lost my job last year, along with my benefits, after finding out that I was pregnant, that Tarik's insurance picked me right up, and we didn't have to pay for the delivery out of pocket. Yes, there was about $4k that we paid out of pocket, but the rest, the insurance covered. I am lucky that my son has been an easy baby. I have been home by myself for almost a year now taking care of him. He was never colicky, got on a schedule easily and quickly, started sleeping through the night at about 7 weeks, has for the most part been easy going and had a great disposition, and has only been sick once. I have free day care in my mother in law who LOVES keeping him while I am at work all day. I am lucky that I adjusted to being a first time mom fairly easily.I have a nice roof over my head, a new car, and friends who would drop what they were doing at the drop of a hat to help me out if needed. I have a job, and although its not the same as before I left to go on maternity leave in that the environment is different, I have a job. I went back to work simply because we would need an income when Tarik got home from Jordan. I have been able to do a little traveling the last couple of years spending two weeks in England, two weeks in the Bahamas, and one week in Jordan. The longer Tarik is there, the more opportunity I will have to travel, and lucky that my boss is understanding enough to allow me the time to take from work to do so. I got 14 weeks of maternity leave. It wasn't paid, but the time was priceless and allowed me to bond with my son and get to a point where it was comfortable to leave him in someone else's care all day. I didn't have a C-section, which, after almost two hours of pushing, was looking more and more to be the case until Trav decided it was time to get out of there and make his grand entrance.

All in all, its not that bad for me. Yes I am tired all the time because of my schedule, and yes I am lonely and wish I could come home every evening to someone to talk to and take charge of the wee one, and yes, those women I work with are a pain in the butt. But, it could be worse and there are those who DO have it worse. Just this morning there is a news blurb about a family from New Orleans here in Houston who lost everything in Katrina, who have now lost everything again when their apartment burned down yesterday. Yes, it could be much worse.

Song virus do jour: "Proud Mary" ~ Creedence Clearwater Revival