If you feel that you would rather not read this, then for the love of God, get out!  Get out NOW!!!

For all intents and purposes things seem to be going pretty well for me in the GI department.  My ulcer seems to have cleared up after the two weeks of antibiotics and additional month of Prevacid that I tool to treat it.  Little tiny setback though, as within 48 hours of completing the Prevacid, my stomach started to hurt again.  I guess I will have to go back to the doc for a prescription.  Well, heck, I need to go back in the next 7 days or so anyway because I have to do the breath test and probably need to do it before I leave to go to Jordan for a month.

And I have been taking fiber every day so that seems to be helping with my IBS issues as I am not crapping water every day now.  

But that is not why I am penning this entry.  No, its another issue that vexes me greatly.  Hemorrhoids.  Now, I have had them for years and in the "classical" 'roid sense.  And of course pregnancy didn't help them at all, they did become worse.  In fact, WHILE GIVING BIRTH, my OB/GYN was making fun of them.  I know he was only trying to lighten the mood and get me to laugh.  Laughing actually helps with the pushing.  BUT I DIGRESS AGAIN!!!  Alright, here's the lowdown.  I have had for several years, and maybe a couple of times a year, what I term an "anal/rectal migraine."  What is this?  Well, I will get this pain that feels like razor blades are about to come flying out of my ass.  In fact, the only thing more painful that I have experienced, that I can remember or think of is labor contractions.  The pain lasts for about an hour, is terrible, and I break out in a little sweat.  Like I have said, its happened to me for several years, but maybe only once or twice a year.  It can happen at any time of day, and if it occurs while I am asleep, the pain is bad enough that it WILL wake me up.  For about the last 6 months, however, I have had these attacks on a regular basis, once a month, and roughly the same time each month.  They always occur shortly after I am done ovulating, and before my period starts.  It happened last night as I was just getting into bed, and lasted about an hour.  Of course it kept me awake.  Now, I am curious if this has something to do with my cycle as it does occur at the same time each month.  I have gone online to sites like WebMD to find descriptions of what the pain could be, and it looks like it is hemorrhoids.  Quelle horreur!  Not only are there the protruding kind that are like little grape clusters, but they are also located right inside the rectum.  They can become inflamed just like the others, but these are 50 times more painful.  So I have a conundrum.  I probably will need to have a colonoscopy done here in the very near future.  I could be jumping ahead of myself, but, as a diagnostic tool, its pretty darn handy.  I probably will not have time to have one done before next weekend when I leave to go to Jordan, sooooo, I will probably have to have it done when I get back.  Oh joy.

Anywayyyyyy, that's the down and dirty on my ass.

Song Virus Du Jour: "Veruca Salt" ~ From the "Charlie and Chocolate Factory" Soundtrack - Danny Elfman. Composer

Useless Trivia Du Jour:  Well, here's a story for Etiquette Hell.