And I happen to be leaving in the midst of one of the busiest times for us.  I know that is going to cause him considerable stress.  If I had my way, I would just be gone for a couple of years to give Tarik time to finish up what he is doing in Jordan, and then go back to work for Mike.  And that could happen.  Who knows.  But I did point out to Mike  that I am available for part time work when needed, especially during the pre-trial preps.  When my maternity leave replacement came in, it took three weeks to get her trained on my desk and to a point where I personally was comfortable enough to leave her on her own.  She adapted quite nicely, and is now on full time.  In fact, she adapted so well, many people in the building were unsure if I was going to return from maternity leave.  She is another issue in and of itself and one of the contributing factors to my departure apart from the child care issue.  But I digress.  Although we are extremely busy right now, as with all in the service industry, getting paid for those services is an issue.  The firm is pretty tight on cash right now.  Clients just aren't paying, or, the payout on cases is very little for the amount of work put into them.  I am pretty sure I earn more than the other admins and freeing up my salary will help the firm out a bit.

I hate to leave the friends I have made there because they have kept me sane day to day and fear that the inevitable will occur in that I will lose touch with them.  But perhaps I can turn this into a positive.  Two women in particular have needs.   One is a single mom who often has to bring her daughter to work with her when she is sick, the other, our business manager, is in the middle of moving her husband, who has Parkinson's, into a special care facility.  Maybe with my absence, I can somehow help them out with some of their special needs such as babysitting and whatnot.  I know they need lots of emotional support and I will be in a better position to provide that with my not working.

I hope that my personality conflicts with my other co-workers will not leave a lasting negative impression of me with some of the other attorneys and that they will have positive things to say about me in the future. Mike said some really nice things to me yesterday such as I have become more valuable the longer I have been there because I know the cases and I know the clients.  And he pointed out that the clients have had nice things to say about me and have been pleased with the service I have provided.  Of course this got me upset and made me cry.  I think he understands that this has not been and easy decision to make and that it really does hurt me to have to make it and its not a frivolous or spur of the moment decision, but one made after much consideration and reflection.

Song Virus du Jour:  "Jane Says" ~ Jane's Addiction

Useless Trivia du Jour:  I attended Lollapalooza 1992.  It was a GREAT show.  At the time I didn't really seem like anything that special, but after a few years I realized that the lineup was legendary.  Here is the lineup:

Main Stage: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ministry, Ice Cube, Soundgarden, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Pearl Jam, Lush, Temple of the Dog

Side Stage: Jim Rose Circus, Sharkbait, Archie Bell, Porno for Pyros, Basehead, Cypress Hill, House of Pain, Sweaty Nipples, Arson Garden, Seaweed, Seam, Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E., The Look People, Stone Temple Pilots, Vulgar Boatmen, Truly, Skrew, Tribe, The Authority, Samba Hell, Rage Against the Machine, Chris Cornell and Eddie Vedder